The problems with Brain

        The Brain can be a wonderful thing. With it I can think about things ahead of time, do my tasks and find my lost keys however sometimes Brain can be a downer. I want to think all kinds of happy thoughts but Brain has other ideas. Brain wants to think about all the things I have done wrong in the last 3 decades or so and pile them on me like a crazy quilt of guilt and anxiety. Heart argues with Brain in a constant battle to the death. Heart reminds Brain that lots of things are good and there is nothing to fear...that there are friends all around and that Brain is simply having a bad day which leads to Heart having a bad day which leads to anxiety for all.
       So what to do about Brain? Divert attention. That is difficult as Brain is the center of all attention-focusing processes like Eyes, Ears and Body so Brain must be cleverly bypassed by focusing Eyes on calm surroundings, Ears to calming sounds or Body to a physical activity like rest or exercise. Only then can Brain take a break and realize things are fine it is only an illusion of chaos and not actually chaos. Sometimes it is best to let Brain take an extended vacation when it is stuck in "unpleasant" mode and just try to relax into something mindless or Brain-less if you will. Listen to the hum of a fan, watch a single point on the wall for five minutes, close eyes and listen to all the sounds and pay attention to that and that only. Then Brain will be able to rest.

And...tomorrow is another day.             

A calm in the storm

Be a calm eye in the midst of the storm

      A tiny web of light in the darkness,

small and echoing like a rock bounced 

     down the walls of a cave

bringing that light down to where
   it can do the most good
Be that candle flame, that errant sunbeam,
   take the noise of chaos and
drown it with love. smother it with joy. quiet it with the beat of your heart.

H.Rose 3-20

Thoughts on the death of fred phelps

     Fred Phelps, the hate monger in charge of the worst church in America is dying. I have so many feelings about this. On the one hand he and his "church" have instilled so many hateful feelings in me over the years from picketing funerals of soldiers to showing up wherever with their awful signs. A part of me, the not-so-civilized part, wants to be hateful back. I want to feel some terrible joy in his demise and perhaps hope that some of that hate will die with him.
   But that won't happen. Hate will live on always. It is an unpleasant truth but one man's death will not make much of a dent in the hate that is in the world. Perhaps for a time the Westboro Baptist Church will founder but I am sure there are many who are eager to take his place and lead them into ever more horrible acts. So what will my hate do? Nothing but make me feel small, petty and angry and who wants to live that way? Vanquishing this devil will be a good thing for the world but it won't be a final thing. There will always be more devils to come. As long as there are people there will be ones with black hearts and evil intent.
   I also don't want to rattle on about it on Facebook or Twitter or other forums. Why? Because he will get what he wanted the most: Attention. The world will whittle our attention down to this one black spot and we won't be seeing any of the other things we need to be concerned with. I don't want to give him the satisfaction of taking my attention away from more important things like equal marriage rights for LBGT people, equal access to legal services, health insurance and spousal support. Let's bring ourselves OUT of the hate pit and into the light of love, acceptance and nurturing the ones who have been hurt the most from this man. Let's celebrate our togetherness in wanting the best for everyone and wanting acceptance for all ways of life, love and the freedom to be who we are without fear or repercussions.
    In closing:  Let's be the light we want to see in the world. Forget fred. He is not worth our time.