One of my favorite actors of all time is gone now. He was one of the funniest people on earth yet he could not escape the disease of depression. It is a medical illness and can have very serious consequences for those that deal with it.
Here are some important facts to know about depression:
Depression is not as simple as feeling sad. It is a mixture of so many things both mental and physical. It is a ball of negativity that includes things such as ennui, self-doubt, self-hatred, worry, anxiety, loss of joy, fatigue, loneliness, guilt, fear, anger and so much more.
It can change the way you view the world, your friends and everyone around you. When you are fighting depression you begin to feel that things you thought were real and true are not. Paranoia about your friends and family can make you withdraw for fear they really don't like you or want to spend time with you. You feel lonely and feel no one loves you anymore. Your mind turns every situation into a negative one. Every word people say feels like it has a nuance of judgement, anger or frustration with you.
It is being exhausted even after a full night's sleep or having nightmares all night so you can't sleep. It is more aches and pains in your body. Everything feels heavier and slower. It is not being able to engage in exercise as much because you just lack the energy, will and excitement for it. It is not not being able to eat or eating too much. It can cause an increase in addiction behaviors whether that's drinking, drugs, sex, shopping, gambling,smoking.......you want to find a way to stop the feelings and thoughts and sometimes turning to old crutches can make you feel you can deal with things better. Or you fool yourself into thinking they can and then the addiction now adds another layer of problems onto an already big pile.
It is an increase in wanting to be more self-destructive to yourself because the hatred you have for yourself makes you not care anymore.
A moment to spend on medications:
Many people view medications for depression as "happy pills" and feel people can do without them or they are a big scam from Big Pharma. No. Just like any physical illness those with depression can be helped to manage their illness with medications. Anti-depressants don't "make you happy". Anti-depressants help the chemicals in your brain to work correctly again. Anti-psychotics don't mean you are psychotic. They can be used to calm the anguished thoughts that keep you up at night, make you mistrust your friend's intentions and excessive worry about things that are not happening. Those who say there is no need for medicine have never had true depression. If they had they would know that in those deep, dark moments any lifeline you are thrown you will grab because you are drowning and cannot save yourself.
Medications can be damaging and inflict you with greater "rebound" depressions (and other symptoms) than if you had never used them. There is no mal-firing of chemicals in your brain until you take them. The same is true of all classes of psych meds. "antidepressant" "anti-anxiety" "antipsychotic" all cause rebound symptoms of what you were trying to repair.
ReplyDeleteAnd yet - they can save your life.
"Anti-psychotics" are really neuroleptics which trim the neurons of the brain, and can actually decrease the capacity of the brain, making things simpler, so that you don't have "space" to be worried, mistrustful, paranoid or otherwise engaged in those frightening parts of thought and feeling. Again, it should be a personal choice to take them, and our doctors would be doing us a great service to really tell us about the long term effects of them.
Except they are only just learning about long term effects, some of which I have noted here. Most trials are only run for 3-6 months. Most patients are on them for decades. The price is high, but the peace is real.
I'm not dissing what you say - depression is very real. But I don't always agree with the medical model of help. Help can come in the form of a close friend who is willing to sit with you through the worst of it, help you work out what you really need. Help can come in the surprising form of internet support groups, there are groups of all flavors these days. Help can come from pets who depend on you in total innocence and grace. Help can come from your exercise, your diet, your sunlight, your sleep schedule. Help can come from therapy, group or individual, or church groups.
And help can come from medicines, but there are risks involved with those which are not involved in social and structured forms of help. I'm not saying that nobody ever needs the meds. I am saying that we should have a CHOICE not be forced to take them just because we said something careless, or were afraid, or couldn't move.
The hardest thing - when depressed or mentally disturbed in any way - is recognizing it and finding the right help for you.
I'll shut up now.
We may have to agree to disagree. I lack the energy and motivation to debate.
ReplyDeleteI can't agree with you more, Heather. Depression has robbed me of countless joys and Medication has saved my life daily.
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