The Broken Brain's Journey through Underland

Written  by Heather Rose

Winding up, thoughts swirling,

pulse burning, heart banging,

feeling that your hair is on fire,

your feet won't move,

you cannot find a solid thought.

            Dying down, laying, sleeping,

thoughts slowing, mind darkening,

lights turning off and off and off,

brain dimming, energy draining,

falling down a deep hole into mindless sleep.

             Light hitting like a fist,

voices all around so loud, so close,

the sound of a car engine makes you

want to yell to SHUT UP!

Everything hits you like a raw nerve.

Lights, sounds, movement, people

moving around you, people talking

all sound too loud.

             Someone can hear me. Someone can see me

through my computer screen.Through my TV.

Someone is after me. There are plots all around.

Who is a friend? Who isn't? Unsure.Too aware.

All movement is meant for me. All static.

All rotating around my busy, busy mind.

Doors locked. Cell phone off. Computer off.

Inside. Inside. Inside. Quiet. Alone. Safe.

So tired. So tired. Mind tired. Body tired.

Faith lost. Future lost. Deepening down to

my worn heart. Beating slowly now.

Thoughts darkening like storms becoming

tornadoes blasting away the light.

Head down. Eyes closed. Heart protected.

Up goes the big, brick wall.

The locked gate.

The sentry at the door.

No one gets in. No one gets out.

The trickiness of the invisible disability

    I am so happy I can keep a good job. I am so happy I can live independently and handle many things on my own. I have helpers but they don't need to micromanage. I have doctors who treat me with care and consideration. I have work that makes me happy, good friends and  a place to lay my head at night.
  Though I have a few conditions which work against me I am good at fighting and I am good at hiding when I am not feeling my best. I work hard every day at staying as healthy as I can and still being able to have a full and enjoyable life.

There are many disabilities which are invisible to the eye. I don't have a guide dog, a wheelchair or an obvious developmental disability. I DO have a few setback to my overall health that I have combated since I was 22 years old and still affect me today. Sometimes these things are more obvious than other times. Sometimes I can hide them almost completely. ;

However for those who see people acting strangely on the bus, parking in a disabled parking spot when they can walk, using a service dog when they don't seem on the outside to need one......don't judge them. Think about taking a walk in their shoes for one day and see if you can see  a difference.


It only takes one hurtful comment to ruin someone's day. If you can't be kind at least be quiet.