Being a person going through a depression that has gone through it before feels like echoes down the hall. It reverberates through my life like footsteps leaving prints on everything I do.
A man once said to me "Depression is a deep well. Once you get down there you need to climb up a lot of shit to get back to the top." It's like that story about the donkey. The farmer decided he didn't want his old donkey anymore. He put it down in a well. He started throwing dirt down there. After awhile he noticed the donkey was getting out of the well. Confused he looked down and saw that the donkey had climbed up the pile of dirt to get back up out of the well.
That's what it is like getting through a depressive phase. You just keep climbing up the dirt that lies before you. It is not easy. It is not simple. But it can be effective. I hope it is effective.
All I ask of those that care is just be my friend and ride the roller coaster somewhere with me. You can be at the front of the cars just glancing back to see if I am still there. You can be behind me watching me do the loop-de-loops. You can, if you are brave, be beside me holding my hand.
But you don't have to do anything else. It's not something you can fix. It's only something you can live through with me or you can let me go until it is easier to be with me. Either way I still love you. Either way I still trust you. We will be laughing in the sunshine again sometime.
Peace.
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